WE'RE PARENTS!!! (PS: Product Recalls)

Hey Parents! My apologies for being MIA, but Stephen and I have recently joined your club!!! On July 20th, 2012 at 9:07 in the morning, we welcomed our first child into the world, Emley Marechal Simpson.

She's beautiful, healthy, and never lets us sleep. Well, recently she started sleeping about 5 hours straight in the night, give or take a few.....and it's a new trend that's not quite consistent. But it's a start.

While I have so much to share from my other mom/dad friends and recent hands-on experience, let's just start with something that inspired me to hop on the computer today after my two-month hiatus from this blog called PRODUCT RECALLS.

Summer Infant is one of my favorite brands, but apparently no ironclad institution is 100% safe from product trial and error. Unfortunately, the error occurred with their Baby Bather......and babies were actually in them when these errors occurred. Whoops! According to complaints from parents, the mesh seat seems to be ripping away from the frame causing babies to fall into the tub below resulting in a handful of skull fractures and a more sizable number of minor injuries.

So don't buy the Summer Infant Baby Bather unless you secretly hate your child: http://www.babycenter.com/204_2-million-baby-bathing-seats-recalled-after-head-injuries_10372087.bc However, we really like a lot of the Summer Infant Products. Don't throw all their babies out with the bath water just yet.

For instance, we're big fans of the Swaddle Pod - http://www.amazon.com/Summer-Infant-Newborn-Swaddlepod-Ivory/dp/B0033UVJOU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1346805301&sr=8-1&keywords=swaddle+pods. My good friend Alyssa introduced these to me and OMG, they have a lot to do with Little Miss Emley Marechal sleeping consecutive hours in the night.  These are fabulous for many reasons, the top two being that you don't have to actually know how to swaddle a baby AND that there is an easy access zipper from the bottom that allows you to change diapers without taking them out OR freeing their arms.

In the middle of the night when you are exhausted, changing a diaper can resemble dismantling a bomb. A BIG SMELLY BOMB.  These will help you do so. In fact, We rarely put her in a newborn night gown. What's the point when you have to swaddle newborns anyway? And anything allowing their arms to be free will only result in scratches to their own face and waking themselves five minutes after you've taken three hours to lull them into dreamland.

Also, we are also big fans of the Summer Infant Sleeper - http://www.amazon.com/Summer-Infant-Rest-Assured-Sleeper/dp/B004J7VHVG/ref=sr_1_2?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1346805350&sr=1-2&keywords=summer+infant+sleeper  You can place this in your bed for easy middle-of-the-night-breast-feeding access. After my c-section, nothing could have been better.....unless someone had an extra pair of boobs to spare. And after you've either healed from surgery or you're simply ready to have some space back to yourselves in the big bed, you can place this sleeper into your baby's crib so that they get a feel for their new, more permanent surroundings. In fact, you can place it anywhere. The living room, the kitchen; it even collapses and travels well to grandma's.

For an up-to-date listing of recalled baby and children items, I prefer the Baby Center: http://www.babycenter.com/child-safety-recalls?scid=momsbaby_20120904%3A2

Do Expecting Mom's Celebrate Mother's Day?

You know, this is kind of a gray area where each expectant mother or couple sort of abides by the phrase, "To each, their own." You really have no need to define your reasoning one way or another to anyone but yourself.

Some expecting moms go through QUITE AN ORDEAL to become and remain pregnant. So you might decide that entitles you to having the red carpet open to you on this special Hallmark Day. Or maybe getting pregnant was easy, but you've had horrid morning sickness and side effects. Therefore, bring on the pampering. Or perhaps, your one of those women who's body was just MADE for having babies and life couldn't be more comfortable for nine months. But regardless, you don't think you should be punished for being awesome (and me hating you for not having any side effects). Whatever your circumstance, you don't have to justify why you would want or not want to celebrate Mother's Day prior to your baby's birth. Do what comes naturally.

If it helps, here's what I did this year: 

First of all, I decided that I was not going to discuss this question with my husband. I had a feeling that if I asked, I'd kinda of be insinuating that I was expecting him to do something for me even if I really was just curious what he thought about it. And if he DID do something for me after I'd asked, I'd wonder if it was merely a result of me questioning his stance on the matter. 

Instead, what I did to celebrate Mom's Day was to spend some serious time on preparations for the baby's arrival. I worked on organizing her closet, organizing MY closet, let alone, the rest of the house......ahhhhh! Nesting. I also spent some alone time reveling in all the daily activities I love to do solo with the understanding that it will take a lot more planning, effort, and coordination with my husband to partake in after the baby's arrival. For example, I went to the gym and worked-out for an hour. I took a really long shower afterwards, styled my hair, and went for a stroll along the Hudson to get a smoothie for lunch, people watch, and read my book in the sun. 

I'm confident that I will love my life just as much (if not more) with my baby now as part of it, but these few care-free, selfish occasions that I have left are very precious to me too. I'm ready for this change, but I want to savor every moment prior that I can. 

I also made a point to call my own Mom and sisters to have lengthier conversations than usual about how great I thought they were as moms, how they've been great examples for those of us expecting, etc. Of course, I used the time to fill them in on how our pregnancy was coming along too which was another way for me to celebrate my upcoming role as "Mom".

Funny enough, everyone around you will still say "Happy Mother's Day" regardless of what side of the fence you find yourself on this year. Strangers especially. If anything, a pregnant woman represents a mother in one of her finest moments. And it really does feel good knowing that you're glowing. So smile and say thanks with the understanding that you are a symbol of life and doing something miraculous!

As for what my husband did, I think it was extremely appropriate and didn't remotely feel forced. When he woke up, gave me a huge hug, and said, "Happy ALMOST Mothers' Day!" That actually really helped because it let me know where he stood without me asking AND it was still sort of a kick-off celebration of sorts. I like to think of his method as the pre-party approach; or maybe a pep-rally prior to the game. 

He then shared his happy revelation that he hadn't celebrated Mothers' Day since his own mommy had passed thirteen years ago and was glad to be joining in the annual celebration again. I suppose I'd never thought about how lonely and sad such a wonderful celebration can be if you are missing your own mommy. 

Unfortunately, as you may have read from prior posts, he's been studying for his CFA II exam every weekend (since what feels like forever ago) and had to get to the library early that morning to continue his work for the day. Therefore, we ran over to our favorite neighborhood grocer-deli-hardware store, Zabar's (www.zabars.com) to grab one of their sack breakfast specials: a buttery ham and cheese croissant, with coffee and juice; JUST $5! I in my work-out clothes, and he with with his (heavy) backpack, walked over to the small park benches in the center median of Broadway to enjoy our casual breakfast together and people watch.....something he's taught me to enjoy over the years. Then we split so he could go do his thing and I could do mine. 

I didn't expect to see him until after 4 PM, but he surprised me. In fact, I think he surprised himself. He did go and study for a few hours as planned, but came home around 2 PM with four really cute maternity outfits from Old Navy that he'd picked up on the way home. He said he wasn't even remotely satisfied with how much studying he'd done all day, but missed me terribly and just wanted to get home to hang out. 

So I guess on some level, while you couldn't find a man more excited about becoming a father, my husband is also cherishing this time we have alone as a twosome prior to our baby girl's homecoming..........I couldn't have invented a more precious "ALMOST Mothers' Day" if I'd tried. I was exactly what I needed and truly captured the excitement of things to come.       

Great Book for New Dads.....AND Moms!

Although I feel that I'm a pretty seasoned aunt and caretaker of small children, I've been reading LOTS of books on becoming a new parent. Maybe it's part of nesting. Or maybe it's the fact that many moms are telling me that nothing has prepared them for being a mom like BEING a mom. And yet, they give tons of advice, tips, and tell you what books to read.

While browsing relative titles at the New York Public Library, this particular manual on fatherhood caught my eye. It's only 147 pages, so I checked it out for my husband Stephen, figuring he could blow through it in no time.

Silly me: I forgot to account for the fact that he's in a crunch, studying for his CFA Part II exam up until 6 weeks before my due date. If he has any hope of passing this weed-out exam the first go around, his nose should pretty much spend the majority of its time wedged into books regarding alternative investments, fixed income, derivatives, and/or portfolio management. Yikes!

But since it was already checked out, I figured "Hey, I bet this will be useless to me. I've read everything! I'm an aunt to seven kids. Let's verify, shall we?" Though the first few pages were a little corny with jokes trying to get the male audience interested, around page twelve I was hooked.


Father's First Steps, written by brothers/MDs Robert and James Sears, is kinda like a "Cliff Notes" version of all the other books I've read on parenting 101 with a few extra tidbits that I didn't know. For instance, as soon as the baby is born, she's getting used to all the allergens and dust particles we breathe everyday. To help with congestion that accompanies this (so she can breathe while she nurses and/or just breathe better in general), you can put a little breast milk in her nose and eyes. What? Yeah.

Additionally, did you know that pacifiers/bottles given at the hospital are probably a bad idea until the baby has learned to nurse properly? It is recommended you wait until about three weeks before using anything other than a real breast OR dad's pinky, palm up. I guess it makes sense because the texture and shape of a pacifier is WAY different from that of mom's jugs. Apparently dad's pinky, palm up, is a close second......just make sure you wash your hands well.

Other topics include the 15 most common newborn illnesses that aren't actually illnesses, how to deal with her postpartum depression (should mom suffer), how do deal with HIS postpartum depression (whaaaa? Yes! Men can get it too!),  finances of having a new baby (or lack there of, according to this book), how to still have your beloved free-time with a newborn around, dealing with dueling careers, how to get some sleep when baby is up every 2-3 hours, how important a father's actual touching of the baby a lot and early on will create a strong bond that prevails even in the teen years, etc. All this and more in 147 pages!

I ended up finishing the book in one day and took notes for Stephen since it has to go back to the library soon. I think I can get him to spend 15 minutes peeking over those, regardless of his dreaded CFA II exam.

Whether you're about to be a dad or mom, this book makes new parenthood seem like an extremely manageable transition. I could actually feel the confidence that had been built after I'd finished it.

New Mom, New York – JOIN THE CLUB!

Hi,

My name is Sarah Emley, I reside in Manhattan, and my husband and I hail from the great state of Texas. We moved to New York shortly after getting married in 2010 and recently discovered that we are going to be first-time parents this coming summer. 

Since receiving this incredible news, we've been completely overjoyed and have had a blast sharing our excitement personally with family and friends. I even threw my husband a birthday bash at Calle Ocho on the Upper West Side this March and revealed the gender of our baby via his birthday cake (you read that right). So everyone found out what we were having at the same time as us. **See two minute video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7IkZI1rkyA

HOWEVER, along with those joyous feelings and celebrations also lurks the sensation of being a little overwhelmed. You see, we're from the southwest. And like many residents who call anywhere outside of New York City home, we are used to the amenities that reasonably priced, ample living-space can provide for such occasions as “having a baby”. While we are obviously ecstatic about becoming parents, we find that a lot of time is spent reinventing the parenting-wheel due to our foreign location.

Granted, I like to think that we’re good people, and we’re capable of raising an upstanding/contributing citizen regardless of our surroundings. But my husband and I both adored our childhood in Texas, and the common amenities we were provided had much to do with that adoration. Three major examples come forward immediately in my mind:

TRANSPORTATION: Firstly, mom and dad BOTH had their own cars that they hauled us around in. Free parking was included at home and practically everywhere else in the city. Since we will be surviving parenthood without a car in New York, there will be very little room for error when it comes to planning out our daily travel plans and what to have with us. Cars are not only useful modes of transportation. They additionally serve as a mobile storage unit for essential parenting tools like strollers. Which consequently brings up another point: In Texas, we not only had a stroller. We also owned a buggy, a jogging stroller, a hatchback for my dad’s bike, and even a wagon that my mom could toss two of us in at a time. Since there is only space for one stroller in most New York flats, ours needs to be similar to Mary Poppins; “perfect, in every way”. It must survive heavy usage throughout the years, grow with our child, be big enough to help carry groceries on occasion, but compact enough to enter a subway train. It would also be awesome if it folded-up without too much hassle and has an adjustable bar for 5’3” me and my 6’ tall husband. Would it be too much to ask that this stroller be under $400 as well? Check out what an Orbit Stroller can cost on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Orbit-Baby-Stroller-Travel-System/dp/B003DWI9JQ. 

NEIGHBORHOODS: Secondly, in Texas we had wide neighborhood streets that were well hidden from heavy traffic where we’d set-up a game of street hockey, flag football, basketball, or maybe a game of “Kick the Can”; the can, of course, being in the middle of the street. Safety hath no claim on a fair spot betwixt all of the good hiding spaces among the homes. On any given day, you could probably find me running freely throughout the neighborhood to seek-out who was available for playing. The only inherent rule was that I had to be home before dark (which could be as late at 9 PM in the summer). Unfortunately, my child will not be permitted to play in the street around our Upper West Side home. Moreover, she won’t be allowed to run around ringing doorbells after school seeing who’s available to play unless she happens upon friends who live in our building. The tall buildings also force the sun to set around 6 even on the brightest of summer days, so I doubt her curfew will be anywhere near even 7 PM when she's "of age".

EDUCATION: Thirdly, our public schools were incredible back home. While it was tough to complete with a class of 800 or so students in high school, I vividly remember watching the news wondering how people could be complaining about how horrible the US public education system is. Here I was staring in a school play, learning how to tumble, singing in a concert, enrolling in guitar class, traveling to state math competitions in Austin (I was a little nerdy), and my teachers were tutoring us in their off hours driving our success. After receiving a scary/hilarious article from my friend Lauren regarding the competitiveness of New York’s private schools (http://gothamist.com/2012/03/19/therapists_confirm_nyc_parents_are.php), I’ve realized that we might have to invest a lot more than just time, love and energy into our child’s pre-college training. Money, connections, and lies seem to be the recommended prescriptions to getting our child a proper education in this town.

Bottom-line: our daughter’s childhood is going to be very diverse in comparison to ours. And I will be tragically disappointed if she doesn’t love hers in New York as much as I enjoyed mine in Texas. Therefore, we're determined to overcome these urban obstacles. And as part of this commitment, I’ve have decided to start a group to bring mom and dads together to share information about how to better navigate parenthood in the big city. After all my research, I feel that I have so much to share. But I know that Stephen and I also have so much to learn from experienced guardians. Moreover, it would be awesome to gain some new friends in a similar situation who'd like to meet up from time to time. Like the city strollers and many convertible cribs I’ve been researching late into the night, perhaps this group can be made to grow with all of us. The mere ability to build a resource such as this would be a southern comfort indeed. In fact, I think the name of the club should be "The Southern Comfort Parents Group". Or SoCo Parents, for short. 

If you are about to be a new mom or dad, seriously planning to be one soon, or an experienced parent who merely wishes to add other urban parents to his or her circle of friends in New York, please email me at newmomnewyork@gmail.com. I plan to throw an initial gathering of some sort in the near future, and would be excited to email you a more formal announcement.