Hi,
My name is Sarah Emley, I
reside in Manhattan, and my husband and I hail from the great state of Texas.
We moved to New York shortly after getting married in 2010 and recently
discovered that we are going to be first-time parents this coming summer.
Since receiving this
incredible news, we've been completely overjoyed and have had a blast sharing
our excitement personally with family and friends. I even threw my husband a
birthday bash at Calle Ocho on the Upper West Side this March and revealed the gender
of our baby via his birthday cake (you read that right). So everyone found out
what we were having at the same time as us. **See two minute video
here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7IkZI1rkyA
HOWEVER, along with those
joyous feelings and celebrations also lurks the sensation of being a little
overwhelmed. You see, we're from the southwest. And like many residents who
call anywhere outside of
New York City home, we are used to the amenities that reasonably priced, ample
living-space can provide for such occasions as “having a baby”. While we are
obviously ecstatic about becoming parents, we find that a lot of time is spent
reinventing the parenting-wheel due to our foreign location.
Granted, I like to think
that we’re good people, and we’re capable of raising an upstanding/contributing
citizen regardless of our surroundings. But my husband and I both adored our
childhood in Texas, and the common amenities we were provided had much to do
with that adoration. Three major examples come forward immediately in my mind:
TRANSPORTATION: Firstly, mom and dad BOTH had their own cars
that they hauled us around in. Free parking was included at home and
practically everywhere else in the city. Since we will be surviving
parenthood without a car in New York, there will be very little room for error
when it comes to planning out our daily travel plans and what to have with us.
Cars are not only useful modes of transportation. They additionally serve as a
mobile storage unit for essential parenting tools like strollers. Which
consequently brings up another point: In Texas, we not only had a stroller.
We also owned a buggy, a jogging stroller, a hatchback for my dad’s bike, and
even a wagon that my mom could toss two of us in at a time. Since there is
only space for one stroller in most New York flats, ours needs to be similar to
Mary Poppins; “perfect, in every way”. It must survive heavy usage throughout
the years, grow with our child, be big enough to help carry groceries on
occasion, but compact enough to enter a subway train. It would also be awesome
if it folded-up without too much hassle and has an adjustable bar for 5’3” me
and my 6’ tall husband. Would it be too much to ask that this stroller be under
$400 as well? Check out what an Orbit Stroller can cost on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Orbit-Baby-Stroller-Travel-System/dp/B003DWI9JQ.
NEIGHBORHOODS: Secondly, in Texas we had wide neighborhood streets
that were well hidden from heavy traffic where we’d set-up a game of street
hockey, flag football, basketball, or maybe a game of “Kick the Can”; the can,
of course, being in the middle of the street. Safety hath no claim on a fair
spot betwixt all of the good hiding spaces among the homes. On any given day,
you could probably find me running freely throughout the neighborhood to
seek-out who was available for playing. The only inherent rule was that I had
to be home before dark (which could be as late at 9 PM in the summer).
Unfortunately, my child will not be permitted to play in the street around our
Upper West Side home. Moreover, she won’t be allowed to run around ringing
doorbells after school seeing who’s available to play unless she happens upon
friends who live in our building. The tall buildings also force the sun to set
around 6 even on the brightest of summer days, so I doubt her curfew will be
anywhere near even 7 PM when she's "of age".
EDUCATION: Thirdly, our public schools were incredible back
home. While it was tough to complete with a class of 800 or so students in high
school, I vividly remember watching the news wondering how people could be
complaining about how horrible the US public education system is. Here I was
staring in a school play, learning how to tumble, singing in a concert,
enrolling in guitar class, traveling to state math competitions in Austin (I
was a little nerdy), and my teachers were tutoring us in their off hours
driving our success. After receiving a scary/hilarious article from my friend
Lauren regarding the competitiveness of New York’s private schools (http://gothamist.com/2012/03/19/therapists_confirm_nyc_parents_are.php),
I’ve realized that we might have to invest a lot more than just time, love and
energy into our child’s pre-college training. Money, connections, and lies seem
to be the recommended prescriptions to getting our child a proper education in
this town.
Bottom-line: our
daughter’s childhood is going to be very diverse in comparison to ours. And I
will be tragically disappointed if she doesn’t love hers in New York as much as
I enjoyed mine in Texas. Therefore, we're determined to overcome these urban
obstacles. And as part of this commitment, I’ve have decided to start a group
to bring mom and dads together to share information about how to better
navigate parenthood in the big city. After all my research, I feel that I have
so much to share. But I know that Stephen and I also have so much to learn from
experienced guardians. Moreover, it would be awesome to gain some new
friends in a similar situation who'd like to meet up from time to time. Like
the city strollers and many convertible cribs I’ve been researching late into
the night, perhaps this group can be made to grow with all of us. The mere ability to build a resource such
as this would be a southern comfort indeed. In fact, I think the name of the
club should be "The Southern Comfort Parents Group". Or SoCo Parents, for short.
If you are about to be a new
mom or dad, seriously planning to be one soon, or an experienced parent who
merely wishes to add other urban parents to his or her circle of friends in New
York, please email me at newmomnewyork@gmail.com.
I plan to throw an initial gathering of some sort in the near future, and would
be excited to email you a more formal announcement.
