Although I feel that I'm a pretty seasoned aunt and caretaker of small children, I've been reading LOTS of books on becoming a new parent. Maybe it's part of nesting. Or maybe it's the fact that many moms are telling me that nothing has prepared them for being a mom like BEING a mom. And yet, they give tons of advice, tips, and tell you what books to read.
While browsing relative titles at the New York Public Library, this particular manual on fatherhood caught my eye. It's only 147 pages, so I checked it out for my husband Stephen, figuring he could blow through it in no time.
Silly me: I forgot to account for the fact that he's in a crunch, studying for his CFA Part II exam up until 6 weeks before my due date. If he has any hope of passing this weed-out exam the first go around, his nose should pretty much spend the majority of its time wedged into books regarding alternative investments, fixed income, derivatives, and/or portfolio management. Yikes!
But since it was already checked out, I figured "Hey, I bet this will be useless to me. I've read everything! I'm an aunt to seven kids. Let's verify, shall we?" Though the first few pages were a little corny with jokes trying to get the male audience interested, around page twelve I was hooked.
Father's First Steps, written by brothers/MDs Robert and James Sears, is kinda like a "Cliff Notes" version of all the other books I've read on parenting 101 with a few extra tidbits that I didn't know. For instance, as soon as the baby is born, she's getting used to all the allergens and dust particles we breathe everyday. To help with congestion that accompanies this (so she can breathe while she nurses and/or just breathe better in general), you can put a little breast milk in her nose and eyes. What? Yeah.
Additionally, did you know that pacifiers/bottles given at the hospital are probably a bad idea until the baby has learned to nurse properly? It is recommended you wait until about three weeks before using anything other than a real breast OR dad's pinky, palm up. I guess it makes sense because the texture and shape of a pacifier is WAY different from that of mom's jugs. Apparently dad's pinky, palm up, is a close second......just make sure you wash your hands well.
Other topics include the 15 most common newborn illnesses that aren't actually illnesses, how to deal with her postpartum depression (should mom suffer), how do deal with HIS postpartum depression (whaaaa? Yes! Men can get it too!), finances of having a new baby (or lack there of, according to this book), how to still have your beloved free-time with a newborn around, dealing with dueling careers, how to get some sleep when baby is up every 2-3 hours, how important a father's actual touching of the baby a lot and early on will create a strong bond that prevails even in the teen years, etc. All this and more in 147 pages!
I ended up finishing the book in one day and took notes for Stephen since it has to go back to the library soon. I think I can get him to spend 15 minutes peeking over those, regardless of his dreaded CFA II exam.
Whether you're about to be a dad or mom, this book makes new parenthood seem like an extremely manageable transition. I could actually feel the confidence that had been built after I'd finished it.
