Do Expecting Mom's Celebrate Mother's Day?

You know, this is kind of a gray area where each expectant mother or couple sort of abides by the phrase, "To each, their own." You really have no need to define your reasoning one way or another to anyone but yourself.

Some expecting moms go through QUITE AN ORDEAL to become and remain pregnant. So you might decide that entitles you to having the red carpet open to you on this special Hallmark Day. Or maybe getting pregnant was easy, but you've had horrid morning sickness and side effects. Therefore, bring on the pampering. Or perhaps, your one of those women who's body was just MADE for having babies and life couldn't be more comfortable for nine months. But regardless, you don't think you should be punished for being awesome (and me hating you for not having any side effects). Whatever your circumstance, you don't have to justify why you would want or not want to celebrate Mother's Day prior to your baby's birth. Do what comes naturally.

If it helps, here's what I did this year: 

First of all, I decided that I was not going to discuss this question with my husband. I had a feeling that if I asked, I'd kinda of be insinuating that I was expecting him to do something for me even if I really was just curious what he thought about it. And if he DID do something for me after I'd asked, I'd wonder if it was merely a result of me questioning his stance on the matter. 

Instead, what I did to celebrate Mom's Day was to spend some serious time on preparations for the baby's arrival. I worked on organizing her closet, organizing MY closet, let alone, the rest of the house......ahhhhh! Nesting. I also spent some alone time reveling in all the daily activities I love to do solo with the understanding that it will take a lot more planning, effort, and coordination with my husband to partake in after the baby's arrival. For example, I went to the gym and worked-out for an hour. I took a really long shower afterwards, styled my hair, and went for a stroll along the Hudson to get a smoothie for lunch, people watch, and read my book in the sun. 

I'm confident that I will love my life just as much (if not more) with my baby now as part of it, but these few care-free, selfish occasions that I have left are very precious to me too. I'm ready for this change, but I want to savor every moment prior that I can. 

I also made a point to call my own Mom and sisters to have lengthier conversations than usual about how great I thought they were as moms, how they've been great examples for those of us expecting, etc. Of course, I used the time to fill them in on how our pregnancy was coming along too which was another way for me to celebrate my upcoming role as "Mom".

Funny enough, everyone around you will still say "Happy Mother's Day" regardless of what side of the fence you find yourself on this year. Strangers especially. If anything, a pregnant woman represents a mother in one of her finest moments. And it really does feel good knowing that you're glowing. So smile and say thanks with the understanding that you are a symbol of life and doing something miraculous!

As for what my husband did, I think it was extremely appropriate and didn't remotely feel forced. When he woke up, gave me a huge hug, and said, "Happy ALMOST Mothers' Day!" That actually really helped because it let me know where he stood without me asking AND it was still sort of a kick-off celebration of sorts. I like to think of his method as the pre-party approach; or maybe a pep-rally prior to the game. 

He then shared his happy revelation that he hadn't celebrated Mothers' Day since his own mommy had passed thirteen years ago and was glad to be joining in the annual celebration again. I suppose I'd never thought about how lonely and sad such a wonderful celebration can be if you are missing your own mommy. 

Unfortunately, as you may have read from prior posts, he's been studying for his CFA II exam every weekend (since what feels like forever ago) and had to get to the library early that morning to continue his work for the day. Therefore, we ran over to our favorite neighborhood grocer-deli-hardware store, Zabar's (www.zabars.com) to grab one of their sack breakfast specials: a buttery ham and cheese croissant, with coffee and juice; JUST $5! I in my work-out clothes, and he with with his (heavy) backpack, walked over to the small park benches in the center median of Broadway to enjoy our casual breakfast together and people watch.....something he's taught me to enjoy over the years. Then we split so he could go do his thing and I could do mine. 

I didn't expect to see him until after 4 PM, but he surprised me. In fact, I think he surprised himself. He did go and study for a few hours as planned, but came home around 2 PM with four really cute maternity outfits from Old Navy that he'd picked up on the way home. He said he wasn't even remotely satisfied with how much studying he'd done all day, but missed me terribly and just wanted to get home to hang out. 

So I guess on some level, while you couldn't find a man more excited about becoming a father, my husband is also cherishing this time we have alone as a twosome prior to our baby girl's homecoming..........I couldn't have invented a more precious "ALMOST Mothers' Day" if I'd tried. I was exactly what I needed and truly captured the excitement of things to come.